It’s now early February and just about a week ago I went into hospital for some major surgery. I went in for an Aortic aneurysm and came out having had that fixed and a renal aneurysm that was found fixed also.
The past year has been something of a nightmare, not only for me but for the people around me who I love, and who love me. I am writing this to try and make some sense of what I have been through in the past week, as it appears to have had a fairly profound effect on me, and at this moment I am unable to work out exactly what it is and if it will remain.
A year ago, 2010, I started to experience severe pains in my shoulder muscles and joints, and this soon spread to the rest of my body. It became so bad that I was averaging no more than two hours sleep at any time and then the pain would awaken me, and therefore my partner lying alongside me.
I eventually went to see my doctor who in reality did little more than prescribe pain killers for several weeks, to little or no effect. In the end one of the doctors ordered a blood test. The results lead to more tests at the local hospital and I was diagnosed with aggressive prostrate cancer and I was quickly referred to a specialist. In the UK it seems that anyone with cancer is entitled to quick treatment for anything – it’s called The Two Week Rule.
A series of scans followed when it was fortunately discovered that the cancer had not yet spread beyond the prostrate gland, but there was a complication in addition to this good news.
Five years ago it was found that I had an aortic aneurysm and that it was growing, but slowly. A routine test at the start of 2010 showed that the growth rate had increased and by the time the cancer was diagnosed it was found that the aneurysm has grown to such a point that it required attention.
The Oncologist told me she was not going to treat me for cancer until the aneurysm had been sorted out as she did not want to risk using radio therapy in the immediate area of the aortic aneurysm. So, on the 4th January I went to the hospital and was booked in for the operation. Two hours later I was on my way home as the operation had been cancelled due to the intensive care beds being full of people with swine flu. Not a very happy bunny!!
I returned two weeks later and was operated on, successfully I hope. As I write this, I am five days out of the hospital and stiff fairly sore around the midriff, but the large area of swelling I had has now reduced significantly. Hopefully this is good news for Friday of this week when I am due to have the stitches removed at my local surgery.
Next week I go back to see the Oncologist who will probably tell me that she cannot set a start date for the cancer treatment until I have been finally cleared by the surgeon who operated on me, and that will not be until at least 1st March when I am next to see him. Once the cancer treatment starts then it will be a course of thirty seven daily treatments over a Monday to Friday period at a hospital thirty miles from home. Then, hopefully I will be in the clear.
People around me have been tremendously supportive throughout this whole process and have been around all the time to help. On the other hand I have filled myself with a rather large cocktail of drugs which I have never used before. The effects have been a bit dramatic to say the least. I suffered, as did everyone around me, from mood swings, paranoia, jealousy and anger to a degree I would never have thought possible or even typical of me.
These have been very frightening times for me and those I love. “A middle aged woman with PMT” was one way I was described.
Then I spent four days in hospital. They filled me with drugs of every description and cut me about with sharp knives then stuck me in bed to recover.
And due to the care of the doctors and nurses I did recover, remarkably. Within two days of the operation I was out of bed and wandering around the hospital. Inside twelve hours of the operation I was sat up in bed talking, eating and drinking cups of tea from a very nice staff nurse, who kept me company throughout the night.
I was visited and contacted by friends, family and colleagues from the university at Preston in a way I have never experienced before. I found it hard to take in, this kindness. Having been something of a loner all my life I never expect others to do things for me, so when this happened – well I found it hard to take onboard. The kindness of family and friends, was not too difficult, the kindness of professionals who are paid to look after me was something else. It was difficult to accept.
When I came home I found that some sort of change had overcome me, and I am not sure exactly what it is. I feel calmer, maybe because the worry of going into hospital for a major operation has now passed, but whatever the reason I feel more in control of myself and my life. All the negative horrible feelings I had in the past months appear to have gone. Thank goodness for that, I don’t want them back again – thank you!
So, what am I trying to say in this piece of my blog? I don’t know really. Maybe I am simply saing thank you to my family, to friends and colleagues and to those doctors and nurses and others who looked after me during my stay in hospital. I hope to make a full recovery. In fact that one thing has never ever been a doubt in my mind, that the cancer, the aneurysm and the pains I felt in the early part of the year – incidentally that was diagnosed as Poly Myalgia – would be beaten.
With a little help from my friends, to quote the Beatles.
Thank you to you all.
Thank you to you all.
