It’s not all serious you know

Today I telephoned my older sister who lives close to the English Lake District.  The last time we spoke she was suffering a little from a new ailment which had caused her to be hospitalised for a couple of days some weeks ago.  I don’t want to give the impression that she is a poorly sort of person, quite the reverse, she has always been fit and active and walked every week for many years in and around the Lake District.

She was telling me about a book she was currently reading about the life of Alfred Wainwright, a man who made the Lakes even more popular than they already are, and according to some people a man who singlehandedly has made the whole area as overcrowded with tourists as it is now, all the year round.

She was wistfully mentioning a few of the places which she said, “I don’t suppose I will ever see them again”, and I could see where her head was when she said those words.   She is even older than me (well, she would be if she is my older sister), and knew why she felt the way she did.  I have been through the same feelings and thoughts myself in recent months.

“Just think of it in this way, “ I said.  “You have been to those places, and at least you have the memories of having seen them.  Just think how miserable you would be if there was a whole long list of things you hadn’t done, or places you hadn’t visited.  You have been to these places, and you do have the memories.”

She agreed with me and saw what I was pointing out to her.  I hope it made her feel a little better.  It may simply have been the fact that she had spent the afternoon in the garden today and had a good dose of fresh air, but she sounded much happier than the lat time I spoke to her.

It is true though, far better to have seen the places and been there than to wish you had and have no chance to go there.

I was looking last week at a few photographs taken of Dubrovnik and Rome a few years ago.  The weather was beautiful, the sea was blue and I recall walking around the city on the ramparts which surround the city.  It was a wonderful memory.  I was sad for a few moments, then the thought above hit me, and I felt somewhat better.

How often do we remember things and think that we are not going to do that again, or not going to see that place again, or maybe not see that person again?  Often, I suspect.  But, there is no point in living in the past memories of our lives.  It’s too short, it isn’t a rehearsal, THIS IS IT!!

Now that my life has been turned upside down in the past two months, I have had the opportunity to take stock a little of what I had, and more importantly, what I now have, and what the future holds for me.

Well, now I live closer to the sea, always been an ambition of mine, and now I live a lot closer to the sea, I can take my new love, Lucy, for a run along the sea shore far more easily than I could have done in the past.  

Lucy, having just hunted and killed a stuffed Teddy Bear

Someone, not too long ago told me that the reason why there are a lot of people with mental health problems living by the sea is that, given the opportunity, they go back to a place they enjoyed and felt safe as a child.  When they are given the chance, it is this sort of happy memory place they head for.  Maybe.

Not too sure how right that is, but there certainly are a lot more people in need of services by the seaside than where I used to live in the hills of Lancashire, maybe they were not as noticeable where I used to live, or maybe it was simply that I lived with two of them.

So now, I walk along the seashore after a short drive, I see the sea birds often, and I can get out of their way when I need to!!

Life is too short, far too short to wish it was going backwards, or that we could live in a time warp when we felt at our most physically fit and active, when life was a sexual escapade from which we could walk in and out of as we wished.  Life goes on.  We get older, we put on weight or wrinkles on our face.  We develop illnesses which could be fatal one day, people around us become ill and die.  There is no turning back the clock.

This is it, get on with it, put up with it, and make the best of it.  Stop living in the past.