As
soon as we came onto the lighted road the world seemed a friendlier
place. My spirits lifted and I felt warmer although nothing
inside the vehicle had changed. There was still an icy cold
body in the back with a slightly scared young copper, and we still
had to get the pair of them unloaded and one of them stripped off and
placed in a mortuary. The thought sent a cold chill back up my
spine. No matter how to spelled it out, this was not going to
be a pleasant evening. Dickie started to hum a tuneless melody.
I looked sideways at him. “Pack it in” I pleaded. “My
life is shit enough as it is without having to put up with your
singing.” “What’s the problem Dave. Lost your sense
of humour?” He grinned backatme. Isaid nothing but just
kept looking ahead at the lights of buildings and cars travelling
along the road towards us. It was not going to be a happy
night.
After
a few moments the force radio set into the dashboard came to life.
“Papa Two Five” said the disembodied voice. I picked
up the handset and placed it close to my mouth. Pap Two Five was us.
“Papa Two Five receiving “ I said. I recognised the
voice on the other end from my days on Traffic patrol. He was a
very experience former Traffic officer who rejoiced under the name of
Tommy Steele, the same name as an English pop singer from the 1960’s.
He was a guy you could trust to get the job right every time he
spoke. One of the really good guys who could combine humour
with getting the job done.
“Papa
Two Five,” he said. “From your Sergeant at Littleborough.
You need to go to the Infirmary at Rochdale to have the body
certified dead and then take it from there to the mortuary at Birch
Hill. Apparently there is no Accident and Emergency at Birch
Hill so they will not have an appropriate doctor on duty. Received
Papa Two Five?” I heard the message and sat quietly for
a moment, trying hard to control the outburst of foul thoughts and
language going through my head. Birch Hill was a hospital,
doctors and nurses worked there on a regular basis. The reason
why we were being diverted to the Infirmary at Rochdale was nothing
to do with the fact there were no doctors available, it was all about
some lazy idle doctor ondutyatBirch Hill not wanting to become
involved with a sudden death and the complications he or she thought
might be involved.
I
put the handset near to my mouth and keyed the transmit button. As
soon as this happens the radio is transmitting, whether or not the
person holding the handset is saying anything. What Tommy
Steele was hearing was the noise of Land Rover engine and whatever
noises were happening in the vehicle. “Fucking lazy bastard
doctors” I muttered into the handset. Raising my voice to
normal speech level I replied, “Papa Two Five, Roger. Off to
Rochdale Infirmary. Out”. There was a pause as
Tommy keyed his handset. “Roger that Papa Two Five.” Then
the unmistakable sound of a very slight belch coming over the
airwaves. I grinned at Dickie who looked at me in astonishment.
“Was that what I thought itwas?”heasked. “You bet
your sweet arse it was” I replied. “That was Tommy
Steele agreeing with my sentiments”
The
drive to the infirmary took no more than fifteen minutes through the
evening traffic, but it was still eight o’clock by the time we
pulled into the Accident and Emergency yard at the hospital. The
wide glass doors of the department were closed but we could see
nurses and doctors and patients moving around in the warmth inside.
It was still too early in the evening for the pub rush of
drunken injuries to have arrived, so Dickie pulled the Rover to a
halt right outside the main door. Before he could turn off the
engine the door of the emergency department opened and a young thin
male coloured doctor in a white coat came bustling out. As I
climbed out of the Rover he came to me. “Where do you want
him doctor?” I asked. He lookedatmyquizzically. “Oh,
“ he said, “No need to get him out. I will have a look at
him in the back.” and he started to walk to the rear door of
the Rover, which opened just as he was about to place his hand on the
door handle. “Oh my God” he yelped and jumped back a yard or
more. Alan climbed painfully from the rear of the vehicle.
“That bloody thing is the most uncomfortable fucking car I
have ever been in “ he said. “Doesn’t help have a coffin
in their either”. The doctor breathed a long deep sigh
of relief at the sight of Alan. He looked into the dark rear
compartment and then turned round to look at me. “There is no
need to get him out, “he said. “I will examine him in there
so you can take him straight to the mortuary. Your Sergeant has
explained everything to me.”
I
held the door open whilst he climbed into the back with some
difficulty. The tails of his white coat kept tangling around
his legs and the stethoscope around his neck threatened to fall off
onto the floor or to strangle him. He held onto the instrument
with one hand and using the other started to pull himself into the
darkened space. I placed my hand against the small of his back
and between the two of us pushing, shoving and heaving he managed to
get into the back. It was very dark so I shone Alan’s torch
into the back and illuminated the coffin still wedged firmly from top
to bottom of the compartment. I could see that he was having
difficulty working out how to get to actually examine his patient, so
I climbed into the back with him. It was cosy in there, just the
three of us.
He
looked closely at the coffin trying to work out how to get inside it
to view the body. I let him struggle for a few seconds then my
better nature took over and I pulled the zip from the top of the
coffin until it was half way down, and John could clearly be seen. I
felt rather than heard his intake of breath. “My my, “ he
said. “He does look dead doesn’t he?” He asked. I
nodded from behind and to the side of the doctor. “Just a
bit” I replied quietly. The doctor took the stethoscope from
around his neck and started to place it on John’s chest, then he
hesitated for a second. “I don’t think this is necessary
really is it officer?” he asked. I made no reply. Whatever
he did, he would have to justify in a Coroner's Court. I was
simply the person presenting the body to him for examination. He
was the one having spent years at an expensive university to earn the
privileged of wearing a white coat. Very gently he placed two
fingers against the place on John’s neck where the carotid artery
should have been pushing blood around his body. He left it
there for two or three seconds, then turned to me. “I can
confirm that his man is dead officer” he said gently. “Thank
you doctor” I
replied.
I
pulled up the zip on the coffin and backed out of the Rover. As
my feet touched the floor I turned to help the young doctor from the
back. He thanked me quietly and asked, “Is there anything
else you need from me officer?” “Not at this stage thank
you doctor. I will be in touch at some point for a statement.”
He turned away and walked quietly back into the lights of the
Emergency department.
So
now we had a body which was officially dead according to the
requirements of the law. So now we had to take it off to the
mortuary at Birch Hill Hospital.
I
turned to Dickie. “Come on Dickie. Back up the hill to
Littleborough we go.” I said.
“Oh,
“ he said. “I am finishing my shift now. I spoke to
the sergeant before we came out and I’ve got some time off. I’ll
drive you back to Littleborough nick and then you have to take the
body to the mortuary.”
“Dickie
Night” I thought. You really are a first class skiving
bastard. I climbed back into the passenger seat of the Land
Rover. “Lets get back there before I blow” I said quietly.
Dickie fired up the engine and we drove in total silence back
to the Police station at Littleborough.
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