John Browns Body 5

 

My thoughts left John’s home and back to my freezing cold feet on the floor of the Land Rover and the problem of how to get the damn thing off the moor and back to civilisation.  Smoking a cigarette had not stimulated the brain in any way and I was loathe to ask Dickie for any thoughts which might have strayed through his head, therein would lie problems of their own.  Not the brightest knife in the drawer was our Dickie.  He opened his window an inch and flicked the butt of his cigarette off into the moor.  I looked sideways at him,”Well?” I asked, “Anything come to mind?”  He shrugged and took offhis cap and then replaced it on his balding head.  “Nowt really” he answered.  I grunted and turned to look down the moor to the farm nearest to the reservoir, maybe almost half a mile away in the darkness.  Something was moving across the front of the farm, yet it was too far away to make out what it was.  I followed the object until it came out of the light cast by the farm buildings and to the end of the short track leading to the reservoir service road.  It was a farm tractor, and it had a passenger holding on to the driver mounted on it.  I wondered what could have possibly persuaded the farmer to leave his warm home on a night such as this to go out on the moor.  Then it became clear.  The tractor chugged it’s way through the gate in the wall and then turned sharply to head up the moor in our general direction.  It was making to the path we were sitting on in the Rover.  It appeared that rescue was coming ourway.

As the tractor drew closer to us our hopes rose and we got out of the vehicle to greet our saviour.  The farmer stopped a few yards from our stricken vehicle.  He was middle aged and dressed in clothing far more adequate than ours for the temperatures and conditions.   “I could see you were bogged down.  Thought you might use some help”  He said.  Turning to the young boy riding on the back of the tractor he nodded to him to get off.  The boy jumped off the back of the tractor and I could see he was having great difficulty in keeping a wide grin off his face.  I couldn’t blame him really.  Not every day you get the chance to show off to the local Police is it?

I walked to the farmer.  “Many thanks for coming out.  I’m afraid this moor is too much for even a four wheel drive with the weight we have in it”  I said.  He smiled from under the thick woolen knitted hat he was wearing on his head.  “No problem.  We’ll have you off here in no time, got a chain to pull you with,”  he replied, turning his head to indicate where his son was removing the largest chain I had ever seen from behind the seat of the tractor.  Anything bigger would have been more than adequate to tie off an ocean going liner, anytime.  Dickie, Alan and myself helped the farmer and his son to unwind it from the back of the tractor.  I gave one of the free ends to Alan and told him to fasten it to the towinghookunderthe front of the Rover.  Alan pulled hard to free the chain taking it in both hands and leaning back against its weight to free it.  His feet slid from underneath him in the bog and he fell heavily on his behind into the cold wet grass.  With a shout of surprise and shock he struggled to his feet holding the free end of the chain in his hand.  “Not quite what I had in mind” I quipped, “But if it works then that’s fine”.  Alan started to say something then immediately judged it would be unwise to make any sort of sarcastic reply in response.  I could feel his teeth grinding as he regained his balance and composure.  

Dickie walked to the front of the Rover and together with Alan fed the free end of the chain through the circular loop beneath the front bumper bar.  Dickie secured it in place with a D clamp pushed through both ends of the chain until it was screwed in place.  “We’re okay now” he called to the farmer.  Dickie pushed himself onto his knees, ignoring the cold water seeping through his uniform trousers and stumbled through the grass and mud to the drivers door.  The farmer returned to the drivers seat of his tractor and half turned so that he could watch the progress of the Rover behind him.  Seeing the glinting spectacles in place in the drivers seat and the raised thumb from the drivers window the farmer threw his machine into forward gear and pressed down on the accelerator.  With a sudden jerk the tractor pulled forward over the muddy track taking up some of the slack in the chain between the two vehicles.  He stopped and glanced back at the chain then at me.  “Tell me how much slack I’ve got will you? “ he said. “I can’t see bugger all in this light”.  I slid over to the back of the tractor and stepped over the slack chain so that I could have more room to jump should the need arise.  I had no wish to be in the line of fire if the chain suddenly went taught and jerked the front of the Land Rover off.  

Dickie released the handbrake and pushed the gear lever into first as the farmer started to gently ease forward through the muddy path to take up the slack in the chain.  I watched from one to the other as the chain became tighter and tighter.  “Stop!” I shouted, “You're nearly there now”   The farmer slipped the clutch on his tractor and set the brake.  He leaped down from the seat and came round to the rear of the tractor to inspect the state of play with the chain.  It was almost fully tightened.   “Right, “ he said rubbing his hands against the sides of his thick trousers.  “I think that should be alright.”  He turned to face Dickie who pushed his head out of the drivers door window.  “Keep it tight on the brake ifyouneedto “ he said.  “I’m going to try for a straight pull down the track and don’t want you running up my arse when we get to the gate down there”  His arm shot out to indicate the general direction of the wall down below us.  Dickie nodded his head grimly and withdrew it back into the warmth of the cab.  

I looked around for Alan.  He was no where in sight.  “Where the bloody hell is Alan?” I shouted to Dickie.  Dickie could not hear me over the noise of the engine and the tractor.  Couple that with the fact that he could often quiet easily ‘cop a deaf un’ whenever he wished to I was rapidly coming to the end of my tether, and my tether was never regarded as being very long at the best of times.  

“I’m here” called a voice from the passenger side of the Rover.  Alan had removed himself into the warmth whilst the rest of us were struggling with the chain and taking up the slack.  
“Get your arse out of there and into the back with the stiff”  I called to him.  “If you think I am getting in there with him you are sadly mistaken.  Now move it” The passenger door of the Rover opened and Alan slowly and reluctantly stepped down into the long wet grass, slamming the door closed as he trudged back along the length of the vehicle.  I saw the rear door open and Alan climb in.  Not a happy bunny, but so what.  No one said this was an easy life.  Welcome!!

The farmer climbed back into the seat of the tractor and slowly started to pull the chain tight.  The Land Rover jerked forward a few inches, digging its front wheels into the muddy path, but the strength of the tractor overcame the weight of the Rover and the pull of the terrain.  We started to make progress down the path towards the reservoir wall and its gate.  “Keep the foot brake on Dickie” I shouted.  His head nodded a couple of times in acknowledgement as he grimly clenched his teeth with the effort of keeping the chain tight and ensuring the Rover kept as close to the path as was possible.  Slowly the caravan trundled down the hill to the gateway.  Close to the gate the farmer stopped his tractor and Dickie pulled forward a littletocreatesome slack in the chain, then pulled on the hand brake.  I ran forward to the front of the Rover and knelt down to unfasten the D clamp holding the chain in place.  The well oiled screw bolt came away easily and I dragged the free end out of the ring beneath the Rover and started to drag it back to the tractor.  The farmers son took the end from me. “It’s alright officer, I’ll do it now”  he said.  “Thanks lad “I said.  I turned to the farmer and blew a big sigh of relief.  “I don’t know how the hell we would have got down there without you.” I said.  “Thanks so much for your help.”  “Glad to help” the farmer replied.  “Hope you get to the bottom of the bloke.  Can’t be easy”.  

We shook hands and I turned back and climbed into the passenger seat of the Rover.  I looked at Dickie.  “Home James, and don’t spare the horses” I said.  “Birch Hill first stop please Dickie.  Lets get him unloaded and stripped so I can get some bloody warmth into my body”.  Dickie pushed the gear lever forward and released the handbrake, the vehicle moved slowly along the path and through the gate in the wall.  The headlights picked out the ten foot high stone columns of the gate posts and then the track beyond.  I sat back in my seat and turned to the rear of the of the vehicle.  “You alright in the back” I called to Alan.  He made no reply, but I could feel a certain amount of pure hatred emanating from the place where he was sat crunched up between the side wall of the Rover and the canvas coffin containing John Browns body.  I turned to Dickie and commented,” Alan doesn’t seem to be liking this job much.”  Dickie grinned.  “You’re a bit of a bastard at times aren’t you?” he said.  I did not reply, just took a cigarette from the pack in my pocket and lit up.  The smoke was good after all that freezing fresh air.  “Too much fresh air is not good for you is it?” I asked Dickie.  He just grunted and concentrated on manoeuvring the vehicle along the ruts in the path and then onto the tarmac road leading down the hill to Milnrow.